We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
