Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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