By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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