im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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