I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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