so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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