I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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