Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I will be naked everywhere
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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