You work out of a Hotel?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
