just tell him i said nine months
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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