I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
