Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
