I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
