Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
