dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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