i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
