Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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