it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
