She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
