Can i not drive my cunt home
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
