wanna go halves on a baby?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
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Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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