Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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