Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
