are you so shy because you have an std?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
