Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Can I color on your dick again?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
