then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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