I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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