I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize