Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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