She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
