none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
