A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
