He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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