the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize