Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
