Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
