elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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