Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
