Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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