her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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