I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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