Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
this hospital has no fireball
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
