her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was born a porn star she said
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
