I must be too annoying 4 u.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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