His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
