this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
