gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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