the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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