official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
