at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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