he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
