i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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