After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
