Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
