i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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