You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
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We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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