Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
